It was just three months ago in July that we lost our little Sproul while I was 8 weeks pregnant. That was really the inspiration for creating and offering miscarriage keepsakes on Miracle Memorial.
It is rather sad that in the United States, the topic of pregnancy loss is either taboo or shrugged off as being insignificant. Because the statistic is so high, that 1 in 4 women miscarry, you would think there isn’t a need to remind others, including ourselves, that this is a tragedy worth shedding light on. Whatever part of the political spectrum you reside, the emotions around losing a child for a mother who’s expecting is universal. Simply feeling not pregnant anymore right after miscarrying is an unspoken black hole deep in the hearts of mothers that could carry on for a very long time. This hole could be filled with some love and attention from fathers, family members, and friends.
Here are a few informal terms around pregnancy loss you could use to refer to your or someone else’s child:
Angel Baby– Baby lost in a miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, or other sources of death
Rainbow Baby– The baby born after an angel baby
Sunshine Baby– The baby born right before an angel baby
Sunset Baby– The angel baby after a rainbow baby
If you know someone who’s lost a child whether in utero or postpartum, take some time this month to intentionally reach out to them. Perhaps ask what their child’s “birthday” is and write that date down on your calendar. Send them a note, a card, or a little something in person or in the mail this month or on that date to let them know you haven’t forgotten their little angel and the pain they’ve gone through losing him or her. Short, simple, and sweet is key. Include some of the words you learned above when appropriate!
There isn’t a need to philosophize or give hopes that might never come or might not come for a long time. No matter how good your intentions are, try your best not to give advice on what not to do next time to prevent the loss or determine what could have caused the loss without being asked first. This is a very sensitive topic, and it’s understandably complicated to know what to say or how to console mothers around the issue. Remember the past and comfort the present. If words scare you, try sending the perfect gift instead!
Because I myself am a mother to an angel baby (the 1 in 4), I know what it’s like to lose a pregnancy and to lose a child. Below are some gifts carefully crafted to give comfort to mothers of angel babies all around the world. They are on sale this whole month!